I have been presented, today, with the complete and total comprehension that the illusion of my past identity, of which I created, can offer the continued growth in every journey.
I can recall very clearly when the peak of the iceberg began to show above the water line.
Such statements spewed forth from my lips, as “I used to be treated as belligerent and I changed that being about myself and still they treat me the same,
so I’m now changing back to the belligerent (previous) identity.
” I would say these things and not, even for one second, understand that by creating that blame environment I was perpetrating the same identity which I so believed I had changed.
This becomes clear as the journey into self-enquiry continues.
As I began to allow myself the gift to remain in the feeling of blame and excuses, about why I was reassuming my previous identity again and the complete and absolute feeling which was paramount, is one of separateness.
To venture into that feeling, without excuses, blame or whatever I “thought”, was a challenge at first, for my mind would interfere and offer blame, excuses thoughts.
I found that when I stayed in the feeling of separate from, a much and more truthful concept appeared.
Now as this happened, and it wasn’t instantaneous, for this one exercise, I became aware of the clear and honest truth.
This truth was that I am not separate from.
This wonder appeared to me accompanied by the resulting truth of which I exist.
That is that there is one reality by which I exist. This reality is experienced as love.
Now in passing knowledge or talking about it, I notice that very often I am presented with many different experiences which are held up to me as flagrant visions of things which are used as excuses, of that’s not love or how can you say that’s love.
I then must move into the understanding which has and is being brought to light as a belief.
And for me to relinquish my life and its perception with a belief offers me the dead end of a closed mind.
It is when I meditate (study) upon these feelings that I discover my original truth.
It is the reality I am creating again and again. It is one of separateness, separate from all that is.
To venture truthfully into the feeling, I once again discover that I AM THAT, I AM or love.
And that which is happening or been held up as not love, is displayed as these get away behaviors.
As a behavior is merely an example of that which we don’t have words to say, it is necessary to understand the real message that behavior is speaking.